"There’s nothing to gain...And I can’t fight the pain"

Today's Song: Billy Talent - Nothing To Lose




Where to start...

Justin and i went to the Woo's house and waited till he came home from the airport. We hung out a bit, then justin had to go to work as Eric and i went to Market to visit Sarah. She went to her Grandma's Bday party after work so Eric and i just window shopped for a long time. Then picked justin up after work, grabbed Sarah, Jocelyn and Cait and went to Schanks. To keep with tradition Eric Justin and i hit Timmy's after.

Justin and Eric picked me up and we went for the famous WILD MOUNTAIN CHICKEN SANDWITCH. D-Lish. Then went and chilled at Justin's till Vanessa got back. Then Eric and i went over (Justin had a exam the next two days). From there we talked alot and then Sarah and Megan headed over. We dropped Sarah off because she had an Exam aswell. Megan Eric Vanessa and i went to Peter's Drive-in and then to BPs.

Then tonight was Amy's b-day. It was awesome. Saw soo many kids who i havn't seen in forever. Amy got right drunk. and it was awesome.

So as i moved from place to place i was always in the middle of conversations about Their University life. FUCK. I have never felt soo stupid or soo far behind. After a while i felt like i just wanted to leave. I soo wish i was making something of my life. But here i am. Doing fucking gr 12 courses. God i wish my life was diffrent.

Tonight i bummed a ride home from Jocelyn, And Jamie was talking about how hot some guy was and she wanted to hook up with him. And it got me thinking about how much i want a GF...

I was thinking. Maybe write an email to Megan Telling her how i feel and sending it before i leave for Cali. But i wouldn't know what to say. How so i tell her that ever scince she broke up with me that i have missed her and thought about her?

When i saw her when Vanessa came home she was soo beautiful. And i felt liek like what is ther in me that she would considder taking me back? Who wants some asshole who can't get past fucking pure math 30. Who wants a kid who ism't making anything of their life.

I wish i could have seen her tonight. Maybe i would have taken her aside and told her that... Maybe i would have told her that i missed her. Maybe i would have asked for a second chance?

I hear from everyone: "Jeff, you gotta move on". Fuck i wish i could. I think about how long ago it was and i think that it can't be normal to feel like this still. So i keep it inside when all i'd like to do is just let it all out.

I wanted to tell her how i felt, but i didn't have the nerve to call her up or anything. So i was hoping that i'd run into her somewhere. Then i thought: "Well when everyone comes back i'll definatly see her. But that one night that i was around her, i was just so ashamed of my life, because everyone was talking about how great university is.

I Hope she reads this. Because it'd be soo much easier then me ever trying to say it.

Maybe when i get home and i read this i'll have the guts to call her.


California in 2 and a half hours... I miss you all and i hope you have awesome holidays.

Dickie's Rules For Driving

Dickie's Rules of Driving:

1) Jeff rides in the back

2) If it breaks or stops working... Hit it and it'll probablt fix it

3) Jeff Rides in the back

4) Don't talk about plate fight

5) Scare the shit out of old ladies

6) make jeff ride in the back... WITH BROKEN GLASS

7) Don't talk about Plate fight

8) Speed when ever possible

9) The only time Jeff DOSE NOT have to ride in the back... is when we go to throw shit on justin's house

10) Jeff ALWAYS rides in the back

BTW...

Today's Song: Egals - Hotel California




SO... Forgot to mention lastnights highlight BESIDES the coke head...

As Sean and i are comin back from the pizza place i tried riding with no hands and i kinda fell. And this gothy-punk girl was sitting on the c-train that was just waiting there and she saw me fall. So i get back on and i tell Sean i should go back and scare her.... So i get right close to the c-train and duck under the windows and Sean told me what window she was at. So i jumped up and smacked the window and scared the shit outta her. She was doing her eye make-up and she almost poked her eye out. Sean and i were rolling on the floor laughing.

Just got home from Sarah's. I ate some Joey's food with her dad and her sis. Then Sarah and i went and saw Ocean's 12:


Really enjoyable movie, pretty funny. Sarah and i enjoyed the retards behind us who wouldn't shut up.

After Ocean's 12... we went back to Sarah's to watch some of the first season of the OC... Woot... Seth is my boy... and Seth's mom is a MILF!!

That is all

Count Down To California

Today's Song: The Mars Volta - Roulette Dares




I leave Dec 22 and i come back Jan 3. So this pretty much means i have like One whole day to see any friend who is coming back to Calgary... Woot. So Wed was my last day of work till 2005. I love it NO MORE WORK. but no one can do anythign because they are all doing exams and cramming and cursing all those nights they spent NOT studying. Good Luck to you all.

So after school i went to the bank and cashed my pay check and a bunch of coins. I got it all in American money so as to take it on my trip.

Me holding $371 usd. This is the most of MY money i have ever held.


After i took my mom to lunch and while eating i said: "i want to do something REALLY American when we go, What can i do?". My mom thought about it, then i said: "I could invade a country!". My mother (Who is American) didn't find it as funny as i did.

Came home. Slept for a good long time. Then started to watch some Anime... So i DLed this one called "Big O" and there are these Huge robots called "Megadeus" (Pronounced : Mega-DUCE) It made me laugh everytime i herd them say it. So, This Anime was nothing amazing, but i watched the 13 episodes i had and it got interesting. So i go to try and find the rest and after waiting for like 4 days it's the wrong damn Anime, So now i can't find the rest of Big O and i have some BS anime about two female cops called: "Your Under Arrest". On the bright side... I atleast have all the episodes for that. SO i was watchign it and these people get trapped in a subway tunnel and the two heriones come to save the day, and this kids grandma is stuck and she finally comes to saftey and the grandson says: "w00t!". I seriouslt laughed out loud

So i am sitting here watching some of my New Anime and Sean calls me up and says: "We goin to Milly, And getting some Pizza". So as soon as i get in the car he says: "You know i'm more stoked about the Pizza then the riding"... It is truly some DAMN good Pizza. Before leaving my house Sean decides he wants to ride Peetie's fork. And i asked if Peetie said he could. His responce: "Well, He's not gonna be using it anytime soon" haha. So we took Peetie's bike apart and went to milly. We are not there for 20 min when:


Great... My fav pants... Damnit. Oh well, I'll tell Santa i need some new pants. So after riding a while we head to the pizza place. Get some great eats, then come back to Milly for some nice light riding. We are just chillin for a while and this BMXer comes up and starts talkin to us, Turns out the guy went to highschool a few blocks from where Sean grew up in Sask. Small world. We chatted some more and he mention that he had lame friends because they were high on coke and didn't want to do anything. So he decided that he was gonna come ride Icy Milly on a BMX for the first time.... WHILE high on blow. When we were leaving he was like: "He thanks for being nice to me while i'm on coke. Happy holidays dudes". Nicest coke head i have ever met!.

I was lookin at The Woo's Blog a while ago and it pretty much had a personal ad for a friend of his, and it got me thinking... I should do the same thing.. SWM... Looking for love - Can cook.... Likes outdoors, Biking... Hates Dill Pickles.

And ladies interested Send a pic and a little about your self to me... (JK)

Happy Holidays... From me and the nice coke head from Milly

Ich Bin Müde

Today's Song: The Mars Volta - Televators




Aaron got the job at EA games, so it was time to go to Schanks and get intoxicated. Justin and i closed. he gave me a ride home... So he NEEDED to try out the BB gun. I think he enjoyed it. Actually i know he did because he wouldn't put the damn thing down... He threatened to shoot me when i tried to take it away.

After almost being shot a few times i chuged some Jager and took a shower to get ready for schanks. Hoped out of the shower drank some Jager, got dressed, drank some Jager, then went to the bar.

I was all excited because i was thinkin: "Sweet ass now i won't spend so much at the bar tonight"... I dunno how it happened... but i still spend $60. It was awesome because Mason and Rob were there along with Geoff and fiencee Nicole Justin and Kevin. Rob just got back fomr the dominican and had a crap load of cigars and we smoked some... Sweet. Mason and i played some Silent Scope... I gotta say, Beer helps me play pool, but beer plus snipering = i miss alot... so mason pretty muched owned the game. After schanks Kevin and i hooked up with Rob again, and Paul came and picked us up and we went to Denny's where that awesome server who is on crack served us. She was. As always, Very entertaining. Then Paul and Rob left... for a good 20 - 30 min. We payed the bill, then we called it a night.

I am tired... so so much sleepy or lack of energy. But worn out. Worn out from the same old routine. I say this in light of the past few weeks. I have been schedualed at work to close for soo fucking long now. I have past the state of annoyance or anger... Now it's just numb... Numb to the fact that i have to do the same old shit every fucking day. Same faces. Same tasks. Same unfulfilled feelings. It seems that my body is going through the motions of work, but my mind is a million miles away - "A body at work, and a mind on vacation." - I hate to say this, but i have really been looking forward to going away for xmas. I feel the need to get away. To leave all of this and just put it out of my head. But i don't want to leave because some of the old clic is coming back. Which in it's self is a mixed blessing. I mean i have been missing these kids for a long time now, and i can't wait to see them. But how is it going to be when we all get together? Soo many things have changed... We will be minus one Dickie because he's gonna be with his family in the Scoosch. Vanessa, She is a strong independand person, i don't think she will have changed much. Eric, I gotta say that i feel distant from him. And i check his Blog regularly. I almost feel as though he has a totally new life and has forgotten/given up our friendship. But i know this isn't true because i know the kid is up to his ass with work and just dosn't have enough hours in the day for everything. I think he needs the xmas break more then anyone... I'm sure my Family would be glad to take him in my place. Sarah, I have tried to still hang out and have fun. But with work, school, track and whatnot it's hard to stay close. I have to plan somethign with her like a week ahead. I miss finishing work with nothing to do and knowing that everyone is stiiing in someone's house hanging out. I need not mention any akwardness with past relationships. Because it seems like everyone was affected in some way.... Frick, I'd say Everyone was... Dickie and Vanessa split up. But the won't affect Vanessa's trip back to Cow-Town. Eric and Sarah, tried... but nothing really became of it. Megan and i... I don't know how to discribe it.... Ended too soon? I guess thats the best way to describe my feelings about it. Now we... "We" as in The clic... are all good friends and nothing will change that. But i mean you will not be able to get around some akwardness. Speaking personally... Megan said she wanted to be friends... I know that is said in every break up. but i mean i honestly tried. Last night i found myself talking to her as if nothing bad had happened between us. It was nice. But then i wondered to myself... What was she thinking about... was she thinking about me at all?... This made me remember one of Vanessa's great speacks she gave me about thinking too much about little things and over annalizing things... so i put it out of my mind. I miss everyone, and i'm excited for the chance to get together.

Seasons Greetings (Keeping it kosher)

Survey... Because I Am A Blogger Whore.

Today's Song: Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams




It's been a long week, Can't wait for the weekend. I plan to do some GTin, and put a dent in my bottle of Jager. Tomorrow is gonna be good, no school till monday, and no work. So i'm goin Xmas shoppin with my mom.

So the other day i went and got myself a kick ass Xmas gift:

It's a koo little BB gun, It's modled after a Walther P22.

It's 113 in the am, Just finished watching a calssic Conan with the halarious "Walker Texas Ranger Lever", And i decided to check out how the good old Blogs are doin. Eric: Up to his eye balls in work (No pun intended), Justin: No ficking clue about half the stuff he says...AND A SURVEY!!.... MUST FILL OUT!

Survey:
1. What time do you get up? Depends, i don't see much before noon... Unless it's for something like Biking or Snowboarding.
2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? Any Friend, Or maybe the Tubgirl?
3. Gold/silver? Black and White
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Incredibles
5. What is/are your favorite TV show(s)? CONAN, Family Guy, Futurama, American Chopper, Myth Busters
6. What did you have for breakfast? Don't have time to because i'm always in a rush to get my ass to schoolon time, Or i Don't wake up early enough
7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? The Tubgirl?
8. What inspires you? People, Music, Seeing things that are abnormally koo
9. What is your middle name(s)? Alan
11. Favorite ice cream? Rainbow Scherbert
12. Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Buttered
13. Favorite color? Black and White
14. What kind of BIKE do you RIDE? Be beautiful .243 frame with a warrentied 03 DJ3 with Black sanctions, 26 Hillrod in from laced to a formula hub, 24 DX32 laced to a Deor hub. Rear brake only, Single speed... SEXY...
15. Favorite sandwich? Maybe the Super bird at Denny's
16. What characteristic do you despise? The kind that i hate
17. Favorite flowers? Pretty ones
18. Where would you go on vacation? Somewhere I can Ride and/or Snowboard with my friends
19. What color is your bathroom? Off white, small simple pattern in the tiles, blue carpey, lame florial shower curtain
20. Favorite brand of clothing? I havn't gotten new clothes in forever... I like Groggy Jackets, I have two, but i hate to pay that much for clothes
21. Where are you going to retire? Earth
22. Favorite day of the week? Days where i don't work, and go drinking
23. What did you do for your last birthday? Got superwasted at Laura's house, and puked in my bed...
24. Where were you born? Point-clair Montreal, Quebec
25. Favorite sport to watch? Football Biking Snowboarding
26. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? My mom
27. Person you expect to send it back first? Well Justin said i was a Blog Whore... I i hope i am first somewhere... But just getting anyresponce will be awesome.
28. What fabric detergent do you use? Tide
29. Coke or Pepsi? Coke
30. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night Owl
31. What is your shoe size? 13
32. Do you have any pets? My Pooch. Bailey
33.What is your favorite season? Spring or winter. They both are fun
34. What time is it? 133 in the Am
35. Name as it appears on birth certificate? Macarone, Jeff Alan
36. Nicknames: Fuck... Gumbi, Macarone, Macaroni, Mackeril, Maxxie, WOP, Probably something about Dill Pickles....
37. Number of candles on your last birthday cake? I don't remember, I was too busy puking in my bed
38. Kids? Sure, I have three already. Rudy is my faverite
39. Hair color? Brown
40. Piercing? None
41. Tattoos? None
42. Eye's? Brown
43. How much do you love your job? HAHAHA... Are you kidding?... I love... only when i'm not working...
44. Residence? Mom and Pops place, Down the stairs first door on your left
45. Favorite Food? All of it
46. Ever been to Africa? Nope
47. Been toilet papering? Nope
48. Have you ever been in love? I dunno... Too complicated
49. Been in a car accident? once
50. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons
51. Favorite saying or phrase: I dunno... Dacka, Dacka, Dacka??
52. Favorite restaurant? Joey's Only Seafood
53. Favorite nonalcoholic drink? Jones Soda
54. How many times did you fail your driver's test? No Comment
55. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Some guy named: ADD 3 INCHED TO YOUR PENIS :||NATURALLY||:... I didn't know him
56. Do you sing in the shower? Nah, But i do at work
57. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? I gotta Agree with Justin... THE SHOOTING EDGE
58. What do you do most when you are bored? Blog/Read Blogs... Pinkbike.com... Bash.org
59. Bedtime: Whenever i fall asleep
60. Glass half empty or half full? Depends what's in the Glass... If it's got Chartuse then i'd be pissed at who drank my drink. If it's Beer, Then i'd be happy it's half gone. If it's Jager, Then i'd be happy it's half full. It it's a Broken Down Gold Cart, Then i'm happy it's half full so i can Chase my Chartruse.
61. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you be? Calgary, Cuz thats where the friends are.
62. Time you finished this e-mail? 143 in the am.... Now i gotta do some HW...

Thank you for your time. Goodnight

SAKE SUNDAY!!!

Today's Song: Eminem - puke




SAKE SUNDAY!!. Yea, Sake isn't that great...So tonight was the Joey's Only Xmas party. I put on the sweet baby blue suit:

Kevin Justin C-Rad Aaron and i met at Joey's cuz C-rad and Justin were closing, then we took the tain down to the restraunt. It was awesome, you know thoes Japanese places where the cook the food right infront of you. This was one of those places. The food was Delicious. The sake... Tasted like warm wine. I got a bottle of JAGERMEISTER!!!:


But i mean my gift kicks ass... Candice got Vlad a Penis Pump LMAO, I be he's using it right now... EWW

So Vlad Justin Aaron and i rode the train home. Vlad and Aaron took the bus home and Justin and i were waiting for our rides, and we notice some newspaper on the ground, and there are heaters above us in the bus shelter... So we started a small fire. We ran away then some guy walked by and saw it but did nothing it was pretty funny.

Get Well Soon Peetie

Today's Song: The Hives - Two-Timeing Touch And Broken Bones



So, a few days ago i had a few bad days in a row. And i was feeling shitty, So i decide that i need a little trim... I go and i tell her what i want and snip snip.. Not bad. but when i got home i noticed that the retard forgot to cut a huge portion of hair. It really pissed me off... What a fuck-tard

My dad started with some schooling. Class wasn't bad, I actually partisipated... The teacher was reading some article some guy wrote about how Pres. Bush was doing good things for Canada. She read it and asked if anyone had something to say about it. In the article it said something about scince 9/11 Canada and the US have beefed up scurity on the border. So my comment was: "The US didn't act all friendly when we beefed up security, The accused us of letting the terrorists in and then allowing them to move into the US." I was happy with my comment because the teacher agreed with me.

After that we had a test, It was fricken long, But it's good bacause as soon as we are done we can go home. I was done around 11. I catch my bus to brentwood and as i walk onto the platform the train comes (KICK ASS) and i walk to the door and Guess who is stepping off the train?.... Megan. It was Crazy, We said like four words cuz i had to jump on the train, It wasn't akward. But i felt like a dumbass, because i was talking and i was standing at the door and it started closing on me and crap and it was just plain embarassing.

After that i went to KFC for some DVD movie deal... Your get a movie with come Chicken... And there is this one movie i have been looking ALL over for and they had it as one of their movies. So i was all excited, and i go to to pick it out and the lady says: "We only have these two left" So i look.. and it is this Chic flick and National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon I.... WOW... Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson's best work i'm sure....

After that i was HELLA bored, So i decided to costomize my comp... Not like make it faster or have more memory...
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All i did was draw on it, I think it looks kick ass

So Sean Peatie and i hit up Milly, It was fun, I have some pics:

The Tree i fell into


Me hitting the New Gring (Sorry for the shitty quality... it a movie still, and it's fricken night out)



When we were a Milly tonight Peetie bailed and broke his ankle. It was fucking scarry. We were at the Box jump and he did a 360 and it was sooo smooth and he went to try it again, and he got 270 then put his foot down and busted it. I mean i wasn't hurt at all and it was fucking scarry. Sean called the ambulance while i help peeties leg. The EMS were there in like 5 min, once they showed up Peter calmed down and was taken to Foothills.

Get Well soon